Journal Entry: Wed Feb 13, 2013, 6:02 PM
I was meant to write this a few days ago, but I forgot. And now I just remembered at half one in the morning. Oh well, I might aswell type this up now because I will probably forget in the morning.
I am not sure how many people know, but if I did tell you, then at the time, I had no idea what I was feeling, so I just took a small confusing thought, and made it bigger than it actually was. Now that I have managed to think about various aspects of that thought, I have come to the conclusion of what I really feel, rather than just rushing into something like this.
Before I forget to say, this is that thing I said a while ago, that I needed to speak to people irl about. I have done that and everything is good.
Actually, I have two things to say. One of these things will most likely change, due to the fact that I have some basic feelings, but those need work in order for them to work with me.
Before I try and delay myself, I'll just tell you.
(I have tried to type a follow-up sentence. But I really have no idea what to say, that makes sense. So I will just go onto my second feeling/thought)
I want to become androgynous. That said, I really have no idea what gender identity will fit me. I know I am a guy, but I dont feel like this fits me 100%. I probably won't go as far as to swap genders, because I don't feel like the opposite sex. So staying around the middle would probably fit me.
It will also be a varied thing, as some days I look at myself in the mirror and see myself in a very feminine way, and other times I just see myself as a guy, with a slight feminine feel. (I just realised the iPad is auto-correcting "feminine" into "feline", if you notice myself being referred to as a cat. My apologies.)
So yeah, I dont really have that much to say about my sexuality. Mainly because I have never dated a guy, so I can't really give too much info on my feeling on that. But I have had thought about dating guys, and I feel like it would feel right. But like the gender thing, it varies day to day.
I really don't know how to conclude this, mainly because I am tired, and I feel like my tiredness will taint this journal entry with weird shit.
P.S. Winter (not me, but the other guy) I have just rebooted my PC, and I am hoping to start running steam again. Also, could I have a link to the team joker site? I seem to have misplaced the link, and I feel like the site should work now.
P.P.S, due to this whole coming about business and me finally accepting who I am for the most part, the depression shit had mostly gone away. But I was hit with some very interesting feelings recently. I'll explain tomorrow...probably.
Listening to: AKB48